Keeping the Fat Pants in the Closet | Families

Momservation: Too bad nagging your kids doesn’t burn more calories.

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Dr. Oz shared the secret to losing 5 pounds in three days yesterday.

Turns out we’re all full of sh**.

Yes, that’s right, the good doctor said that if we go on this “detox”—which is code word for liquid diet made up of disgusting looking shakes with strange ingredients—we will lose five pounds in 3 day.

*Dramatic Pause*

Because you will be spending all your time on the toilet. Detox is also apparently code word for: stay near the bathroom.

Let’s just go ahead and say I’m not that desperate to lose five pounds. I’m also pretty comfortable letting my bowels work at their own preferred pace...

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