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Miley Cyrus' VMA Acceptance Speech

Momservation: The harder someone tries to prove they’re grown up, the more infantile they look.

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It is the performance heard around the social media world. It lit up Twitter, setting a new record for tweets per minute. It has caused a social media storm that has the Parents Television Council urging us to grab our children and run for cover from the filth and debauchery the MTV Video Music Awards continues to rain upon us. And the Urban Dictionary is likely to crash due to adults over 30 rushing to look up “twerking.”

Miley Cyrus you have arrived.

Your parents must be so proud.

Your fiancé has to be thrilled that he scooped you up when he did.

Your friends must be giddy by association.

Your publicist so grateful for all that you’ve done…

…to ruin everything you’ve done to be taken seriously as an artist and be accepted as a quality human being...

But Wait! There's More!

But Wait! There's More!

Momservation: One of these years I’m going to boycott emergency cards and just tell my kid: “Don’t get hurt.”

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Why does going back to school require so much paperwork?

I think I might just hate filli

Going at Life with Eyes Wide Open

Going at Life with Eyes Wide Open

Momservation: Summer coming to an end is like getting water up your nose after the perfect cannon ball.

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OMG! This was, like, the BEST summer EVERRRRR!

Okay, sorry about that.

Floaties in an Ocean of Grief

Floaties in an Ocean of Grief

Momservation: No one has a child to spare.

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I really wanted to be business as usual today: whine about the trials of parenting, share a funny anecdote, throw together a tips list, and in the process do some light Kardashian bashing.

From the Ashes of Tragedy: Perspective

From the Ashes of Tragedy: Perspective

Momservation: Hug your kids today because tomorrow is not promised.

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I’m sorry, but I can’t joke around today.

Tragedy and heartache have descended upon our community. You pray that it will pass over you.

A Royal Pain is Born!

A Royal Pain is Born!

Momservation: It’s inevitable that your little prince or princess is frequently going to be a royal pain.

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So the royal baby is finally born.

Well, 

If I Find Out You Did It, You Quit It

If I Find Out You Did It, You Quit It

Momservation: Social media: where teenagers go to actually become less social.

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